Are you someone who gives up easily?
Do you find yourself setting out to achieve something, only to discover that you run out of conviction to see it through?
And if so, have you ever wondered why this happens and how you can overcome it?
You’re not alone.
And it can be tricky to change our fundamental behavioural patterns, but when we understand the beliefs and motivations behind our actions, then we can unlock the door to create change.
And as giving up easily isn’t an inherited trait but a learned behaviour, we can modify it through self-awareness and practice.
In this article, we’ll explore the underlying reasons behind the tendency to give up easily and offer practical strategies to cultivate persistence and resilience.
We’ll delve into how to differentiate between those situations which call for a change in tactics and those that require extra persistence.
By the end of this article, you will gain insights into your own tendencies and be equipped with practical tools to cultivate a mindset of resilience and perseverance.
In fact, you’ve already taken the first step because recognising the signs that you give up too easily is the first step in changing your behaviour.
And if you’re wondering whether you should give up on your dreams, think carefully before axing your original plans.
Join us on this journey of self-discovery to unlock your potential for success.
Related Article: check out these 30 signs that you don’t love yourself.
Table of Contents
- 11 Insights & Strategies for Empowering Inner Resilience
- #1 Self-Reflection on Your Tendency to Give Up Easily
- #2 Unraveling the Burden of Perfectionism
- #3 Crushed Expectations: The Weight of Feeling Like a Failure When Things Don’t Go as Planned
- #4 Subconsciously Do You Believe it Should Be Easy?
- #5 Taking the Wrong Tram: Align Your Path with Your Passions
- #6 Self-Compassion and Goal Setting: Embracing Realistic Expectations
- #7 The Dopamine Dilemma: Addicted to Instant Gratification
- #8 The Validation Trap: Understanding the Pitfalls of Seeking External Approval
- #9 The Power of Clarity: The Importance of Defining Your Journey
- #10 Beyond Motivation: Understanding the Limitations of Relying Solely on Motivation for Success
- #11 Rewriting Your Narrative: Shifting from Self-Doubt to Self-Belief
- Never Give UP – Video by Stan Lee
- You Can Do Anything if it Resonates with You
11 Insights & Strategies for Empowering Inner Resilience
So many factors can contribute to our tendency to give up easily, and understanding them can help us to explore our psyche and can be an extremely transformative journey.
But not all of these insights will necessarily resonate with you so feel free to choose the ones that do.
Take action: Take a pen and notepad and as you read through, write down each number which resonates as being a possible influence in your life. Then go ahead and contemplate the points made about each factor and make a shortlist of those points which resonate with you. Write down any action plans you can use to fuel your progress.
And if none of the presented reasons seems to align with your situation, I encourage you to invest time meditating on the question and actively exploring the reasons why you quit easily.
This activity in itself will empower you to rewrite your narrative and redirect your energy towards greater resilience.
#1 Self-Reflection on Your Tendency to Give Up Easily
Seek the reasons behind why you give up easily without actually expecting to discover the answer right away.
This process takes time so try not to be impatient while delving into your underlying motivations.
To begin with, ask yourself questions repeatedly and ask with open curiosity. Contemplate your behaviour and allow yourself to wonder about its origins.
Oftentimes we categorise ourselves and other people as being x, y, or z.
And we get so used to our characterisation that we don’t dig deeper to discover that we’re actually made up of the exact opposite of those categories too.
So for example, you may think you’re a go-getter and the reason you give up is because of impatience (just as an example) when in reality you’re also a procrastinator and you’re actually giving up because of lack of momentum.
The actual reason for giving up isn’t as important as the act of uncovering it and bringing it into the light of day for us to recognise.
Uncover Your Unique Traits: Self-Exploration Begins
Write down 3 adjectives that people would automatically associate with you. Don’t overthink it, just the first three that come to mind.
For example, I might write, loyal, honest and kind for example, because those are three traits I see in myself.
Now comes the catalyst – whatever adjectives you’ve written down, with no exceptions, the opposite is also true.
So I am also disloyal, dishonest and unkind.
As much as it might sting, it’s true.
You can’t be all of one thing and none of the other. It’s the yin and the yang.
But it’s liberating to know this and you can definitely use this to your advantage.
Back to me and my self-image. I always thought I was a positive person who wouldn’t easily give up.
Until the spotlight hit me and the other side of that truth was revealed to me.
I was a giver-upper after all.
A pro at that.
Not just small-time, but big-time.
In fact, I retreated from almost all things uncomfortable.
Why hadn’t I noticed before?
As soon as life would usher some tricky issues my way, I would readjust my situation to find one that felt more at ease.
So eventually I asked myself the question we’re looking at in this article: Why do I give up so easily?
(As with anything we speak about, I didn’t give up easily in all areas of life, just in some.)
When I recognised this quitter trait I was able to unravel my reasons, unwind my journey and reset a new approach.
And you can too.
And as much as I had thought that I was a tough cookie who didn’t care what people thought of me, the opposite was true.
I was soft dough who wanted to please people.
Yes, I did my life how I wanted to, I thought.
But all the time, and virtually in secret, I truly believed that I needed external validation if I were to be worthy of anything.
So back to the exercise at hand, now you have 6 unique traits which apply to you.
Hold them steady because they’ll come in handy in a little while.
#2 Unraveling the Burden of Perfectionism
Are you by any chance a perfectionist?
Do you believe that to be worth anything you need to get things absolutely spot-on right off the bat?
If so, the sensation of struggle may make you feel so uncomfortable that you throw in the towel well before you should or before you actually want to.
Being a Perfectionist has both positive and negative traits, and one negative is that it tends to wipe out the messy grey area in between starting out and ‘getting there’.
It focuses on the result rather than the journey and demands that the result be perfect.
Not only is this unrealistic and unachievable, but it also creates a heavy burden on the perfectionist themselves.
According to the Harvard Business Review, perfectionism is on the rise and is extremely common among younger people who are placing extreme demands upon themselves and causing depression and anxiety disorders.
If you have perfectionist tendencies, it’s worth analysing whether they serve you well. The only way perfectionism can be positive is when it’s under control.
In other words, when your inner guidance isn’t being dominated by your sense of perfectionism.
Action Plan for a Perfectionist
If you’re a perfectionist, allocate some time for focusing on and appreciating the journey rather than the result.
Start a gratitude journal and make a point of 3 small things every day that you are grateful for.
Write different things every day and start to look for blessings in every small moment of the day, even those moments which aren’t perfect.
Practising this helps to take your focus off being perfect and encourages you to seek gratitude also in the imperfection of things.
Next, look back at your past and make a list of three recent things which didn’t go as planned.
Recognise that without those events you wouldn’t be where you are now.
So they have propelled you forward in your journey even if not in the direction you expected or hoped for.
Write one point of gratitude for each event.
We can always learn something from these apparent failures and focusing on the wins in a disaster can be a great way to come out of it stronger.
Even the vital mistakes we make along the way can ultimately help us to arrive at a perfect result.
Once you’ve mastered gratitude journaling and recognising the good in the bad, start to think about where you’d like to be right now (rhetorically speaking).
Use visualisations to play a movie within your mind and practise seeing things just one step ahead of where you are right now.
As you play the inner movie, congratulate yourself and celebrate the small wins.
Working on changing your mindset to one of acceptance and positivity is crucial to keep going where once you would have given up.
#3 Crushed Expectations: The Weight of Feeling Like a Failure When Things Don’t Go as Planned
Do you feel like a failure if things go wrong?
This is true for many of us. We feel inadequate.
We messed up.
So we tell ourselves a story that we aren’t good enough.
But that’s bullshit.
At some point, things are going to get messed up in life and we have to stop thinking we’re so almighty-important that everything’s our fault.
And even when it is our fault, shit happens.
I don’t mean we should switch over to the other extreme of not caring at all (like, who cares, because shit happens, right?).
No, not that at all. Just find the balance.
Action Plan: Embrace Failure as a Foundation of Success
When you’re not doing so well at something and you feel like quitting, ask yourself first: am I blaming myself?
And if I am to blame in some way, can I find a little step towards a solution?
Even just a tiny action will do.
So make the decision to accept that it’s 100% inevitable and essential that some things will have to go wrong on every single journey to success.
When you stop and think about it, when you know that you have to mess up sometimes, then you won’t feel the need to quit when the going gets tough.
It just becomes part of the terrain.
Of course, it’s uncomfortable.
Of course, we may not enjoy the moment.
But it doesn’t define who we are and it doesn’t make us a failure.
So, if it’s impossible to be successful at something at not have experienced ‘failures’ on the journey (they aren’t really failures, but they could be labelled as failures when you’re going through them), then why would we react negatively when we find ourselves going through that difficult patch?
Your inner voice might argue with something like: I passed my exams with top marks without any failure!
But during the journey, while you were preparing for those exams, there were years of studying and doing homework.
And at some point, there were tiny failures along the way, like a lower mark on a particular homework assignment for example.
I say tiny because they look tiny to you now that you’ve passed your exams.
At the time they probably didn’t look so tiny.
When we’re in school the responsibility’s taken away from us so we march on without question.
Think about it, when somebody’s studying to become a doctor, they don’t have to get the heebie-jeebies worrying about whether they look stupid – What if I never get a job as a doctor? Won’t I look stupid for dedicating all these years and money to this study?
No, we don’t question it because we’ve been taught that that’s what we need to do.
When you’re launching a new business though, reinventing your life, or locking yourself in your bedroom to write a novel about your pet poodle, then suddenly you’re up against an entirely different set of limiting beliefs.
Now your inner critic can have a party, taking away your confidence so that you’re ready to crumble at the first hurdle.
Just remember this.
You have to fail to succeed.
So embrace the failures along the way.
Use the Tram Lines Metaphor
Visualise yourself as being on a tram line and the final destination of the tram is your chosen goal.
Set the tram lines to your chosen destination and always keep it clear in your mind that that is where you’re heading to.
Now you know where you’re heading to, it isn’t so drastic if there are delays or diversions en route.
What happens between this point where you are right now and that final destination where you’re heading, is almost irrelevant.
Because it’s just a detour.
You’ve reframed it from being a disaster to a delay.
The journey may take longer than you’d thought it would but just see the delay as a part of the journey.
The tram may go up, it may go down, to the left or to the right, but as long as it’s still the tram for your chosen destination, you can ride the problems along the way.
Without failure, there can be no success.
Next time you experience what you perceive to be failure try meditating on these points before you give up.
- See this negative moment as an opportunity to learn. Apply the mindset that everything happens for a reason and that this hurdle holds a valuable lesson for you. It will help you to see it in a different light.
- Give yourself some self-compassion – treat yourself with the same grace you’d show your loved ones if the roles were reversed and if they had ‘failed’ instead of you.
- Surround yourself with inspiring people who have a positive attitude and can support you through your journey. If you don’t know positive people join forums online for inspiration and support.
- Practise gratitude for everything positive in your life. Even what you perceive to be failure could have been a bigger failure – give gratitude for the things which didn’t go wrong.
#4 Subconsciously Do You Believe it Should Be Easy?
Do you subconsciously believe that when things are meant to be, they just happen, poof, with a swift click of the fingers?
If this sounds like you, I get where you’re coming from because I was the same. Because in some ways it’s true.
There’s nothing so wonderful as the road opening up before you because it’s so clearly meant to be.
Everything just fits like a perfect puzzle when it’s aligned for you.
But the opposite is also true.
You have to do the work.
And depending on what your goal or dream is, there may be a lot of learning involved. Or a lot of struggle, or a lot of readjusting your ideas.
You can fill in the blanks with what it is that’s causing you to feel negative, just know that the path to success isn’t easy.
Growth happens through mistakes.
Oftentimes it seems like a smooth journey because we’re so focused on our security that this is meant to be and that carries us through some of the hurdles.
We don’t notice the hurdles so much because of our conviction in the outcome. I remember when I was young and I set off for Italy.
I had no idea how things would work out but I was 100% sure that I was setting off to find work and live there for a while.
It seems as though all the doors opened for me, but in reality, it was I who took the steps to book the air ticket without any guarantees, and it was I whose energy was 100% positive.
So it isn’t realistic to believe that everything will come easy while we stay within our comfort zone, and if this is you, I invite you to challenge your beliefs.
Action Plan to View Challenges as Part of the Path
Instead of looking at the hurdles and giving up when you feel overwhelmed, reframe how you see the situation.
Check your final destination (which isn’t final at all by the way), and if it still resonates with you, then let that be your inner strength to keep moving forwards.
If you find you no longer have the same dream or goal, then maybe it’s time to change trams and hop on one with a new destination.
Do this by tuning in to your gut as you visualise your goal. Feel whether it is connected to you emotionally or not.
Take out your notepad and make a list of all the things you perceive as being difficult obstacles on your journey. Fill the page with as many as you can.
Take this list with you and spend some time looking over it each night. Before you go to bed, visualise yourself achieving all those difficult points.
And remember, when things are meant to be, they flow, yes.
But you still have to do your part.
You have to put in the work.
Give the sweat.
It ain’t always gonna be easy baby.
Mel Robbins on Not Giving Up
#5 Taking the Wrong Tram: Align Your Path with Your Passions
Of course, you might be giving up because in truth you got onto the wrong tram and are heading in a direction which doesn’t feel right to you.
This is easy to do when we choose a destination for mistaken reasons. When we are on the right ‘tram’ of life, we enjoy the stopovers and the scenery along the way as well as the destination.
So which is the right destination for you?
It may not seem clear.
Because it isn’t always easy to find our true selves.
To dig ourselves out from underneath all the debris of the years.
But you can start to seek your true path.
Action-Plan to Find Your Right Path
Brainstorm all the ideas you think you might get satisfaction from doing.
Just write freely, filling the page and including absolutely anything that comes to mind. No editing at this point.
Next, spend a little while focusing on each option and crossing off any which don’t resonate with you at all.
Is your current goal on your list? If so, did you cross it off or is it still a contender?
A lot of good comes from just unveiling information so that you can really let it sink in. A lot of the time we go through life blindfolded without really looking at what is in front of our eyes.
When we reveal these truths to our subconscious mind, that’s when change can begin to happen. But you might not notice it.
So instead of waiting for change to suddenly ‘happen’ (which it won’t), take a moment to reflect on what makes you happiest in your life.
What moments make you feel special?
It’s easy for people to say that we should choose our passion. But this cuts both ways. It’s crucial that we’re passionate about what we do.
But that doesn’t mean we have to do what we’re passionate about.
We can’t always our passion into our profession – because that won’t always resonate with us either, but we can always make sure that we choose to do something that’s within our happy zone.
For example, I love to paint and would be happy to sell my paintings. But I would hate to have to set up a business model around painting, or to create a mission statement or do marketing or any of the other (what I would call ‘horrible’) tasks involved in becoming a successful artist.
On the other hand, I’d absolutely love to do those same (‘horrible’) tasks for a writing or coaching business.
Sound strange? Yeah, maybe. But it’s the way it is. And I’m lucky enough to know that now. I didn’t use to understand this concept and I wouldn’t have known the difference.
But we can be passionate about lots of things and not all of them will suit us as our profession.
And if you force yourself into a lifestyle you don’t truly desire, then giving up becomes the easier option.
Another example would be if you chose a course of action because of financial gains, or for power or for status when in reality you’re happier living a quiet life in the countryside.
That would be one recipe for disaster.
Action-Plan to Check if Your Chosen Path is Right
One way to check whether your decision is right for you would be to meditate on the question and allow the answers to come to you.
Practise daily meditation for 3 months (or more). If you miss a day because of your schedule, don’t worry, just get back to it the next day.
If you’re short of time, you might find it helpful to meditate just before going to sleep. That way it doesn’t eat into your busy hours.
It may not be easy to meditate at first, and it may feel like an impossible task, but once you dedicate yourself to it, you’ll find it becomes easier.
And much more rewarding to do.
Another way to double-check your chosen path is to close your eyes and relax. Then visualise what it is you’ve decided to go for.
Be aware of the emotions which arise in your body as you do the visualisation. Excitement and anticipation linked deep in your core area are natural but if you feel fear, then bring your goal one step backwards.
Closer to where you are.
Aim for something which stretches your boundaries but by a reasonable step. It isn’t realistic to try to leap 7 steps from where you are now. (see next point below).
External Pressure, Influences or Programming
Sometimes we do things because of pressure, influence or programming.
It may be that we’ve spent our whole childhood hearing about how certain things are worthy while others are not.
This kind of mind programming can have an enormous impact on our choices as adults.
Sometimes we even think we like something when really it’s just all inner programming from our past.
To investigate this, you can do some inner journeying and ask in the state of meditation to meet with your other selves and ask those other voices within you for insights.
This is an extremely powerful activity which can be really enlightening as you hear the different opinions of various voices of your own psyche.
It’s a topic which could fill a book and is too complex to go into detail here, but I wrote a bit about how to do inner journeying in the article on how to meditate on a question (in the part on inner journeying).
If it isn’t from our past, it could be something more visible, like direct friends or partners exerting their influence over us.
Sometimes we need to accept that this isn’t actually right for us.
I know, if you follow your heart you may feel exposed.
Fearful of being ridiculed.
Fear of failure or fear of the unknown.
But if you keep going in an activity which isn’t right for you, things will most probably take a toll on you in the long run.
We can’t stay happy if we sell ourselves short.
If you’re thinking of doing something which makes you feel fearsome, take time to allow the thought to grow and do some manifesting exercises to help you to nurture change in your life.
Don’t feel you need to know all the answers all at once. Your goals can evolve over time. Allow yourself to be flexible.
Do you chase after shiny objects and jump into situations that don’t resonate, which then makes you give up?
Giving up easily may be a sign that you’re chasing the wrong dreams.
I’d recommend you check it out just in case. Be sure that you’re 100% in love with your goal.
Be Yourself and Know What, and When, to Give Up
#6 Self-Compassion and Goal Setting: Embracing Realistic Expectations
Self-compassion doesn’t always come naturally to all of us. Some of us are the hardest taskmaster on ourselves.
Consider whether you demand more of yourself than you would of a loved one.
And remember that setting the bar too high invites and encourages disappointment.
In turn, disappointment fuels the desire to give up.
When you have unrealistic expectations of yourself, you’re setting yourself up for not reaching your potential.
And if you keep not reaching your potential, you’re more likely to give up.
Readjust your expectations and take things bit by bit, step by step. Set yourself tasks that you can realistically achieve.
The disadvantage of Setting SMART Goals
Many people are advocates of setting SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) but I find it isn’t always productive to do so.
Because when you set yourself a smart goal you’re attaching the result to a timeline.
How many times will your goals flow in at the exact speed that you want them to? And what happens when you arrive at your chosen deadline with no sign of having achieved your goal?
You think you’ve failed in your goal, that’s what.
And then you lose impetus and so begins the spiral towards giving up.
Rather than set yourself a concrete SMART goal, try letting the true goal be the ultimate result (the final tram stop) and make your actionable goal just one small step towards it (station stop en route).
Remove the time pressure or at least allow yourself a large margin when it comes to fulfilling a goal.
For instance, when someone attempts to quit smoking or break another unwanted habit by setting a specific date as their goal, a single setback can lead them to see themselves as a failure, causing them to give up altogether.
But if you remove the deadline, that ‘blip’ of a failure becomes nothing more than just a blip, and the person can carry on giving up without labelling the slip as a complete failure.
It’s true that some people respond better to pressure, while for others it drags them down.
It’s important to find your own way forward with goal setting and how much pressure, if any to apply.
If your goal is too ambitious, you don’t have to give up on it, just define some smaller steps which you can make as your new goal on the journey to your ultimate tram stop.
Obviously, goal setting is different for a business than it is for a personal lifestyle change so it’s crucial to adapt to your own personal situation and preferences.
In conclusion, practise self-compassion and check whether you’ve set yourself a goal that is unrealistic or unachievable.
#7 The Dopamine Dilemma: Addicted to Instant Gratification
Did you know that when we scroll through social media we activate our brain’s reward centre to release dopamine?
This is the pleasurable sensation we also get from sex or food.
And in today’s world of online activity, it’s only logical that many of us become addicted to this short-term feeling of happiness.
And that makes it increasingly difficult to keep ploughing on when the going gets tough.
If you’ve become addicted to short-term happiness it makes it difficult to keep going through the icky problems, because the desire to escape and grab your mobile pulls you away.
It’s so easy in today’s world of instant gratification to get addicted to an instant fix.
Ask yourself, is this a little bit true for you?
Our concentration spans have become so much shorter than the years previous to modern technology and our impatience has gone through the roof!
The evidence is everywhere, TikTok, Instagram Stories, and even websites like this one. A reader expects a page to open within 1-2 seconds, with 3 seconds being too slow to accept.
Just imagine telling someone from 1980 that 3 seconds is too slow to open a page!
They would think we’re crazy.
But be that as it may, we’ve become creatures of instant gratification and there’s a price which comes with that – it makes it harder for us to stick it out when the going gets tough.
Action Against Dopamine Device Addiction
So what can you do when you hit a tricky moment? Instead of reaching for your device, try making a rule, a specific time of the day when you will use your devices.
And for the rest of the day, leave it alone.
You may find that this single step increases your productivity untold times.
#8 The Validation Trap: Understanding the Pitfalls of Seeking External Approval
What will people think of you, right?
You’re hungry for someone to say ‘Yes, you can do it! I believe in you!’
But instead, you hear silence and doubts and difficulties.
And deep inside, you have a need for someone to give you some value and to tell you just how great you really are.
But you are.
Great, that is.
Even without encouragement or validation.
I was so blindfolded when I was younger, looking for validation from anyone who mattered to me. I didn’t realise it but I limited my opportunities constantly.
I would put myself down and undervalue my skills.
But I’ve since discovered that we need to be our own cheerleaders.
And only when we can truly love ourselves will we have surplus love to give others.
It may sound like a cliché, but learning to love ourselves is super important if we’re putting ourselves out of our comfort zone.
So that when things don’t go the way we’d planned, we don’t feel shaken to the core.
We can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and return to the job at hand.
Action Plan for Not Seeking Validation
If you’re full of self-doubt, try to practise regular meditation and during your time, reflect on who you are as a person.
Give gratitude for all the qualities you know you have which are positive, but don’t ignore or feel ashamed of the negative qualities either.
We all have them and it’s only by recognising them that we can keep them in balance and nurture the sides of us which we admire more.
Next, move on to your physical body and give gratitude for that too.
Imagine that you had been given your body on loan. If you were borrowing it, would you be rude about it?
I don’t think so.
You’d be much more likely to appreciate the curves and forms and miraculous capabilities that your body has.
As well as meditating, start a gratitude journal and make a habit of feeling grateful for 3 aspects of yourself each day.
Don’t compare yourself to others; you are unique.
Your Time Will Come if You Perservere
#9 The Power of Clarity: The Importance of Defining Your Journey
Maybe you haven’t actually given much thought to what your journey might look like.
Living in the moment is fine, but sometimes looking at the bigger picture can help to fuel you through difficult times.
If you don’t make plans or set goals this could be a reason why you are giving up so easily.
Personally, I’m not a huge fan of setting fixed goals (like SMART goals for example) because I believe they set the stage for disappointment and they take the focus off the journey and onto the destination.
But there’s a balance between fixed goals and no goals at all.
We need to know which tram we’ve stepped onto and where it’s heading. We don’t need to know every station stop or even its arrival time.
We just know in our hearts what we’re aiming for.
Of course, this refers to general life improvements, habit forming, changing habits, and achieving things we want to achieve in our lives.
It’s different if we’re talking about mundane office work. In that case, fixed goals are fine.
So instead of drifting, try to clarify what you want from life. Think about the next step you can achieve and set a loose goal.
A goal without too many restrictions. To reach the next station stop; that’s a great goal.
Where is your next station stop?
Action Plan for Defining Your Journey
In your notebook, write your main goal in the middle of the page. Around it, brainstorm all the other positives you’ll get as you travel towards your main goal.
On the opposite page, choose the ‘easiest’ steps (the things closest to where you are right now in your reality) and make a shortlist.
These will become your goals for this week or month or however long they take.
As you achieve them, add more from the first page to the second.
Each month look at your ‘map’ and notice how many items are already ticked off and completed.
Give gratitude for your progress and take note of where you can improve your efforts.
#10 Beyond Motivation: Understanding the Limitations of Relying Solely on Motivation for Success
Too many of us believe that we can be successful just relying on motivation. But the truth is, motivation comes and goes.
And if we use that as our reference when we want to achieve real change in our lives, then our results will also come and go in reflection of our motivation.
You can’t expect motivation to be available to you 24/7.
Instead, make a plan and use determination and self-discipline to get yourself on track on the days when your motivation is low.
Action Plan for Not Solely Relying on Motivation
Think ahead. Make a plan of action for each day.
If you’re trying to change an inground behaviour, create a plan B for those days when your enthusiasm to change is low.
For example, imagine you want to take up exercise but you always give up after a couple of weeks. Instead of relying on motivation to pull you through, write a plan each week. Set aside a specific time of day for your exercise practise.
If on one day you don’t feel like practising, still go through the motions – get on the mat, go for a walk, go to the gym or whatever your chosen form of exercise is.
You can claim this part of the day as your very own quiet time. You may not have exercised as hard as normal, but you still completed the task of getting your butt to where you wanted it to be.
For the rest, give yourself a break and let it be.
Tomorrow you can train harder again.
#11 Rewriting Your Narrative: Shifting from Self-Doubt to Self-Belief
If you (subconsciously) don’t think you’re capable, you’ll prove yourself right every time.
And if you doubt that you’re worthy of great things, you’ll sabotage your results.
Try imagining yourself hugely successful in your chosen area (and by successful, I mean doing whatever it is you want to do).
Do you have any feelings of resistance come up?
Or is there an inner voice, telling you not to be so silly – you could never have everything you want?
And it isn’t only self-doubt that could be holding you back. Any deep seated programmed belief (such as money is dirty) for example will run through your life.
Uncover those beliefs and bring them to the light of day. Secret programming gets a lot of its power from being secret. Once it’s unveiled it’s open to being changed.
So work on becoming aware of your limiting beliefs and negative voices. As as you discover them, recognise that they are not fact.
They are thoughts that have become inground into beliefs.
Beliefs become perceived as facts and facts then mould your life.
Loving yourself and believing in yourself is one of the most powerful keys to not giving up.
Never Give UP – Video by Stan Lee
You Can Do Anything if it Resonates with You
Remember the list of characteristics we wrote at the beginning of this article?
Now I’d like you to write those words (you can add more if you’ve thought of more) to your notebook and see if they match up with the categories you’ve chosen from the list of insights into giving up.
So in my example, I chose loyal, honest and kind which automatically gave me disloyal, dishonest and unkind. If I look at my own resonance with the key points in this post, my top three would be numbers: 3, 4 and 10.
That’s 3. feeling like a failure when things don’t go as planned, 4. believing it should be easy, and 10. relying purely on motivation.
This gives me a framework to work with. I’m disloyal to myself when I feel like a failure just because things got a bit tough. I’m dishonest to myself when I say everything should be easy and it’s unkind of me to expect myself to succeed purely on motivation alone. I wouldn’t expect an employee to work under those conditions, so why should I?
The purpose of the exercise is to give you a different way to view yourself and your reactions to the world. This isn’t a right way to view yourself. It’s just an experiment into possibilities.
And when I see the paragraph above, I feel more empowered to change my response when the going gets tough, and to stay resilient.
Because when we understand the mechanism which is causing us to give up easily, then we can change it.
It will take time and patience but by flipping our subconscious beliefs, we can gradually grow into a more positive, resilient person who doesn’t give up easily.
And we can definitely achieve our goals.
You are an amazing human being.
You have been loaned your incredible body so that you can have an life-in-this-world experience. Don’t let anybody tell you different or talk you down.
And especially, don’t talk yourself down. Give yourself love and compassion and see that you can get through to the other side of the barrier where you normally turn around and give up.
Believe in yourself and know that you’ve got this!